Friday, November 13, 2015

Conquer the ego and free the soul

Easier said then done, ya know. I think letting go of the ego is the hardest chore we have as humans. It takes us years as children to develop one, learning we are distinct creatures with our own feeling, wants, needs, etc. Then we grow up & need to realize that yes, we are distinct, but that maybe sometimes the things we think are important aren't that big of a deal.
Today at work the tech manager called said one of us techs had to come over to the hospital & help out. Now we get pretty angry about this, mostly because they don't help us when we need it. So the four of us ranted & raged & carried on.
Then I looked at what Buddhist tenet I was going to focus on today, which is the title of this post, & I started looking at it differently. This is my job. What the hell do I care whether I work in my normal position or over in the hospital? I'm getting paid either way, & I'm not having to compromise my beliefs in doing so.
So I volunteered to go over. It was no big deal. And while I was over there I realized something else--I didn't want to help them because I don't feel like I'm great at the job over there any more since it's been 18 months since working at "The Big House". I want to be the best. All the time. And I can't be.
I work with three great techs. They're some of the best you're going to find anywhere. And son of a bitch, I come off feeling like a slacker every day I'm at work because I can't do everything as well as they do.
Why must I be good at everything, I ask myself. And the answer comes back to my post title again: ego. I can't be good at everything, nor should I.
It's a journey.

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