Thursday, October 13, 2011

Thousands of Tiny Dots...

Just thought I'd pop on here & tell you all what I've been up to.  Haven't been reading anything new, unfortunately.  But I have been re-reading some of my favorite books.  Right now I'm tackling Great Expectations again.  I haven't read much of Dickens, but this is by far my favorite book by him.  I think it has a lot to do with my own great expectations, & how it seems like they just set us up to not appreciate all  the small things that happen to us that, when added together, make up a solid life.  When viewed in hindsight I think most of us would think a great many people have lived important lives in some way or another.  I often wonder, though, how many of those people thought they were supposed to achieve something large, or great, all at once in the course of their time on earth.  Only in retrospect can you look back & feel that you've lead a "good" life.  At least that's what I hope.  My expectations are still making my life difficult.  I hope that once I'm out of my 40's (& God help me, I've only just gotten into them!) I can maybe start to forgive myself for what I consider my lack of acheivement in my life.  I hope that I can start to see in a few years the solid wall of something built of the many little things that make up my daily life.
But for right now I'm still stuck not seeing the whole picture.


Shan said...

Now this is a very interesting post. I love what you have to say about forgiving yourself for what you consider your lack of achievement. I think this is so common. I am thinking of so many friends, right now, who I suspect feel just the same way.

This whole idea is one of the biggest reasons for my decision to homeschool my kids -- so that they can hopefully avoid some of the societal pressure to prove their worth by their earning power, or by the 'status' of their chosen field. I want them to be happy. If that means they set up a little kayak rental place here on the coast, or spend ten years exploring farming in the prairies, cool.

Because of your post, I'm gonna go read Great Expectations! I've never picked it up though I think I own a copy.

Suelle said...

Thanks for the comment Shan! I know what you mean about schools setting our kids up to feel lousy about themselves--my son comes home now all the time & tells me he's a bad student. I try to counteract that message he's getting, but I also worry I sometimes am inadvertantly setting him up too in the subtle things I say & do. Oh, to be able to do this life thing right! Sigh.
I hope you enjoy the book! I'm still in the beginning pages myself & it's very interesting to see Pip's "setting up".
Take care & thanks again!