Sunday, June 21, 2009

Summer Solstice

Well, things have been kinda weird around here. There are three reasons for that: summertime, cancer, & careers.

In the summertime heading, it's hot & Puppy is out of school. Now he's still in ESY (extended school year), but that's only half days Monday thru Thursday. So he's thrown out of sync. Plus we just can't live as regimented a life as they have at school, & he thrives on routine. Therefore, his behavior is careening around from one extreme to another, & the house is taking a pounding. He's ripped several things off the walls & hurt plants outside for no reason. He's in limbo land, & right about the time he gets in the swing of summer, school will start again. Sigh....

Also under the heading of summertime is that fact it's hotter than hell around this godforsaken patch of land. The humidity is thru the roof & you only have to walk outside for 5 minutes to be covered in sweat. God help you if you actually move around out there in that soupy mess, cause you'll be begging for mercy soon after.

Now, on to cancer. My dad has it, it's metastasized, & he's getting chemo. He's tolerating it well, but he's still very weak & has lost a lot of weight & muscle mass. We won't know if the chemo is working until late August/early September when they do another CT scan. So until then it feels like everyone is in a holding pattern.

I don't really want to go into my relationship with my father on here, but suffice it to say it's had some rocky patches. Those were quite awhile ago, & I certainly don't dwell on them anymore. But when mortality rears its ugly head it funny what you start to think about. All the issues, all the worries seem to bubble to the surface again. That's been difficult to deal with lately.

Now, on to career. I'm slowly going back to school. That is hard for me to officially say, since I've tried doing that before & it just didn't work out. I'm hoping that this time it will really happen & I can make a career change, but it's going to take several years for me to get to that point & I'm worried I won't make it. Hence, I'm scared to actually tell anyone about it.

So there you have it! It looks like it may be an interesting summer, but I'm remaining hopeful on all 3 counts. That said, I've decided to try to update this & my other blog twice a week--we shall see. If I actually do that, I'm sure I'll be writing about my 3 issues again. Wish me luck!

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